Lebron James – star NBA basketball player, time traveler and captain of the Cleveland Cavaliers. After vowing never to return to Cleveland, James (pictured in Miami jersey) helped the Cavs win a championship this year through sheer determinism, scoring points and some cannibalism.
In a recent interview I am making up right now, Lebron James voiced his intent to sit with Colin Kapernick of the San Francisco 49ers while watching the games from the luxury of his penthouse. After announcing his intention, he was not promptly rushed by police. He was then not handcuffed and held overnight pending an arraignment. Even more surprisingly, he did not destroy the entire fabric of American life with his act of couch dissent.
A spokesperson for Lebron did not say,
“Lebron is extremely sorry for voicing his opinion on the matter. After so many years in professional sports Mr. James should have learned not to bite the hand that feeds him!”
This is a lesson tens of thousands of athletes learned a long time ago, which is why they all remain silent despite the epidemic of police killings in America. They all stand and pledge allegiance to a flag of a country that oppressed it’s own people as well as folks all over the world. Dan Otero of the Indians has been quoted as saying,
“They told me if I sit with Colin, they would charge me with all the steroids I took to get the Indians into first place!!”
After not being arrested for voicing his opinion Mr James’ charges were not dropped. He did not pay anyone any bail money, and he is looking forward to rejoining the Cavaliers in the fall. Let this be a lesson to anyone in this country who thinks there is still free speech!
This article is a complete fake, but I hope you learned something!