Not a Happy Meal: Drunk, Impatient U.S. Marshal Pulled Gun on McDonald’s Cashier and Customers

Deputy U.S. Marshal Charles Brown had the drunken munchies and just couldn’t be bothered to wait in line like some sort of mortal. So the off-duty Hero began yelling and complaining at a Brooklyn McDonald’s about how long it was taking for him to get his Un-Happy Meal. When that didn’t speed things up sufficiently, Brown pulled out his gun; first pointing it at the cashier, then at customers in the line behind him who had voiced supported for the cashier.  That apparently did the trick and soon after Deputy Marshal Brown paid for his food (because stealing is wrong) and was on his drunken way.

Meanwhile, other employees within the Mickey-D’s were in the process of calling 911 during his quick draw demo. Not long after, Brown was caught a few blocks away by NYPD officers with his loaded service pistol in his waistband and arrested on “a slew of charges, including menacing, harassment and violating firearm license regulations.”

The reactions to all this were apparently somewhat mixed. As would be expected, cashier Joanna Diaz was shook up a bit and, according to unnamed co-workers, didn’t show up the next day for her scheduled shift. Meanwhile, a customer named Heather Polamis and who is described as a “shocked receptionist” is rethinking her dining options and is quoted as saying, ““You can’t go anywhere today without something happening.”

However, another customer seems to be a little more accepting of Deputy Marshal Brown’s dinner rush, because she’s read a lot of Fake News stories about how stressful and dangerous having to wait for your food like everyone else can be for Good Cops. “Margaret Johnson, said she suspected that the munchie-motivated man simply ‘snapped.’ – ‘[U.S. Marshals] are under a lot of pressure,’ the 74-year-old said. ‘They’re under a lot of stress. They risk their lives every day.'”

Note: There seems to be two slightly different versions of this story being reported. Via the Daily Mail:

Another report by NBC New York, however, states that Brown is accused of getting into an argument with a 25-year-old male employee.

Brown then left and came back with a black gun, threatening the employee from outside, police said according to the network.

In the second version, Brown also left the store without any food. Regardless, Deputy Marshal Brown will reportedly need to find a new midnight snack destination now. A Brooklyn Criminal Court judge issued an order of protection against him on behalf of the McDonald’s and the cashier during his initial court appearance. He was, of course, released without bail, though.

P.S. – Yes, you did read that correctly. The U.S. Marshal’s name is in fact Charlie Brown, which makes this clown on clown violence. (You saw what I did there.)

Kelly W. Patterson

a lifelong resident of Las Vegas, who's been very active in local grassroots activism, as well as on a national level during his extensive travels. He's also the founder/main contributor of Nevada CopBlock, Editor/contributor at and designed the Official CopBlock Press Passes. ____________________________________________________________________________ If you appreciate Kelly's contributions to CopBlock, consider donating to the CopBlock Network and/or visiting the CopBlock Store. ____________________________________________________________________________ Connect with Kelly at these social networks; Facebook, YouTube and Twitter.