The Myth of the Good Guy Cop

On the Cop Block Facebook page, comments on this blog, and on my YouTube channel, and really anywhere you say anything negative about police in general, there is one common theme you can expect to hear from the voting cattle and government propagandabots. “You shouldn’t paint with such a broad brush, sure there are some bad cops out there, but most cops are good guys. Maybe not most, but some of them exist. Someday you might need a cop” or some variation thereof.


This is absolute nonsense. The fact of the matter is, the best cop on the planet, would be a do nothing tax leech. Literally, the best case scenario for a police officer, would be somebody who showed up for work, got in his squad car, parked it, and went to sleep. Now of course, we see this from time to time, and perhaps we could thank those sleepy evildoers for not harming anyone that day, except for the fact that they are getting paid to do the exact opposite, and they are paid by taxation.

Taxation is theft. No matter what your opinion on taxes is, this is proven by the fact that myself and others do no consent to taxation. Our money is taken from us without our consent, and under threat of violence. If we do not pay, men (cops, actually) will break into our homes, shoot our pets, and kidnap us. If we resist, they will gun us down without a second thought. If you think that’s a morally justifiable thing because some slave owners wrote a document 230 some odd years ago, that’s a topic for another article, but it’s still theft.

So really, when the highest possible aspiration for a man with a uniform is literally that of being a lazy thief, one can easily imagine that the jump to heroic savior of mankind is rather unlikely. 

Because the other thing that we know is, cops have quotas, or at least, some expectation that they will go out and generate revenue, like any other job. If said good guy cop went fishing instead of victimizing innocent motorists and kidnapping hippies for possessing plants, he’d not be a cop for long, would he?

Of course not. In fact, we can safely make the assumption that the longer he’s been a cop, the more innocent people he has harmed. If he has moved up in the ranks at all, then we can safely assume he did it with a particular enthusiasm that warranted promotion. So by the time one reaches the esteemed title of “homicide detective” or “armed robbery investigator” we know that he has stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from people who committed the heinous crime of “driving to work” and that each one of those thefts involved a death threat.

When a police officer turns on his flashers, he’s not making a polite request to have a chat with you. He’s informing you that your car is about to stop, whether it’s because you pull the car over, or because he runs it off the road and shoots you in the face. This is not a negotiation, and if you think it is, then by all means, the next time one of these “good guy cops” catches you speeding, just wave to him and keep on driving. Make sure your camera is running at the time, and if you survive the encounter, be sure to submit the video to after.

Christopher Cantwell

Christopher Cantwell is an activist, writer, and satirist originally from New York now living in New Hampshire.